What Do You Call A Legal Prostitute?

Posted by Alice Little on September 2, 2016

Often new clients come in feeling a little awkward, not certain how they’re supposed to conduct themselves around women in my career. It’s understandable considering how much myth and stigma is built up around sex work. It’s difficult to know what to call the lady you’re about to see, when society has given us a wide range of different terms, with no real differentiation between each one. Please keep this sex work lexicon in mind when having conversations with your lady of choice, as each word has its own unique connotation and meaning. Some terminology is widely acceptable, where as other terms are generally frowned upon. Others still have contested history, and a variety of different opinions when it comes to if and how that term should be used.

One of the most important things to remember is that we are professionals at work. We want to build a relationship with you and be your friend, but we deserve and expect a basic level of respect as working women. Despite what modern pornography might have taught you, most women don’t appreciate being insulted or degraded. Some do! Bring up dirty talk during the negotiation if it’s something you’re in to. But in general most people don’t appreciate being called “bitches,” “sluts” or the unfortunately ubiquitous “whore.” We are not whores. Neither are we “street walkers,” “hookers,” or “cunts.” We are “professional courtesans” and “legal sex workers.” These terms are broadly acceptable. Any others should be discussed on a personal basis. 

LEGAL SEX WORKER: Generally accepted term, very okay to use.

COURTESAN: Generally accepted term, complimentary to use, as it speaks to the level of skill and professionalism that the lady has.

BITCH/SLUT/WHORE: Generally discouraged, if you wish to use such phrases, talk to each lady individually as to their thoughts and feelings.

You may say these things lightly, thinking it’s a joke, or that we should be used to it (or worse, deserve it) since we’ve chosen this career field. All those little joking insults build up. Imagine you went to work every day, doing your very best, giving your all at a very physically and emotionally draining task, and every person you met cheerfully insulted you directly to your face, and then continued to expect you to serve them with a smile. Imagine working behind the counter at a fast food restaurant and getting a “Thanks cunt!” every time you handed someone their fries. Doesn’t that sound exhausting?  We want our experience together to be one that is filled with mutually positive memories- by using correct language, you’re going to find it much easer to connect with the lady, and have a pleasurable encounter with her.

Being your courtesan (especially during something like GFE) works best when there’s a genuine connection between us. I want to like my clients, and I love to discover each person’s best traits. I want them to like me too! But offensive language, especially when you lead with it before we even reach negotiations, can put up an immediate barrier that makes it difficult to connect. You’d have trouble building a relationship with someone who insulted you the first time they met you too. I refer to the individuals I see as Clients and Friends- I strive to respect you, because i value the time we spend together. In return, I ask that you please value and respect me by using terms that I am comfortable with.

Let’s talk about the word “Prostitute.” it’s one that has a rich history, and a wide variety of different connotations. What image comes to mind when you hear the word Prostitute? While it isn’t an automatically bad term, it is one that can carry a lot of weight to it. Personally, I prefer the term Courtesan, or legal luxury companion. Each lady has different feelings about the word prostitute- so please do have that conversation about her thoughts and feelings on the word. Sure conversations are a wonderful way to get to know the lady you are interested in, and discover more about her! 

PROSTITUTE: Contested word with a variety of both positive and negative connotations. Please have a conversation with your lady of choice regarding to this word.

Treat your courtesans with respect. Remember that we’re people, experts in our field, doing our very best every day at a job that we really love.  Use respectful language. Again, courtesan and sex worker are generally acceptable, but you should always feel free to ask your courtesan what they are comfortable with.  Always try to live with empathy, thinking about how your actions – and words – affect others and imagine how it would feel to be in their shoes. And don’t worry if you’re unsure or don’t know what to do. That’s normal, and we’re able and very willing to help. There’s no such thing as a stupid question with us. The more both of us are on the same page, the better a time we’re going to have.