Intimacy after Trauma by Sagebrush Starlet Delilah Rae

 There are a lot of things we don’t like to talk about. Sex, sexuality and the experiences that can change or affect our relationship with intimacy are all on top of the list. These subjects are taboo for both men and women. This can often lead to anxiety when discussing past experiences with a partner and can also lead to stunted sex lives or even end sexual exploration- especially when the change is rooted in a sexual trauma. 

Both men and women can be hesitant or even fearful about discussing sexual violence and trauma. This fear of judgement, repercussions or rejection from a partner can leave a person uncertain about their sexuality.

That sounds really depressing and bleak doesn’t it?

Luckily, the fix might not be easy, but it is achievable and is far from impossible. My grandpa used to say anything worth having is worth working for and I personally think a healthy sex life is very much worth working for. 

Like many things the beginning can be the most intimidating. We ask ourselves questions like, will my partner still care about me, will the provider I’m seeing be understanding, am I the only one that’s gone through this?

If you’re a man or a woman or someone outside the gender binary you are not the only person who has experienced sexual trauma, you are not the only person who has had to navigate this, you are not the only person to heal. You are not the only person to go through this, it’s okay to be challenged! Doing something as simple as reading this blog post is already reclaiming power in yourself. You have made the first (and often scariest) step into having the sexual future you want to have- and it’s closer than you might think.

The second step is taking a realistic look at your goals and where you are at right now. What do you want your sexual future to look like? The answer is different for everyone. For some folks they may want to process trauma through BDSM exploration, some may want to be able to be intimate with many partners and jump into hook-up culture, some may want to get to the point that when they find their soulmate they can go forward with no reservations. 

All of those are valid goals. 

As a sex worker, I obviously advocate for going to professional providers as an amazing option for navigating sexual trauma. I see clients from all walks of life and all sorts of sexual histories from virgins, to trauma survivors to BDSM practitioners and so much more. However, finding a provider who can give trauma informed services can be difficult. 

I’m here to help make that path a little easier. 

As we already said the first step is being honest with yourself and your goals. The second step is communicating those to a provider. What does that even look like?

It’s actually much simpler than you may think.

You’ve decided this is something you want to put the work into, you’ve read providers’ websites, profiles, etc. You know how to contact her, you know what you want and need out of the experience. What comes next?

You send that first email, or you even go to send it, but you are staring at a blank information form and you have no idea what to say. Do you want to unpack your trauma over an email to a stranger? What if she responds in a very negative way?

These are super valid and very real questions. They also bring a lot of anxiety that can stop you from sending that email.

Two things- one; your provider can give you better care and service when they have as much information as you’re comfortable giving. The more information, the better service. Two; you have every right to share as much or as little information as you want. However to refer back to point one it can affect the service you receive.

So where is the middle ground? Where is the way for you to only share what you’re comfortable sharing while receiving the best service you can get?

The answer is that first email. Ask your provider if they have experience with clients with a traumatic sexual history, ask if they have any special training with trauma informed service.

 

 

 

A sample message may read something like this-

Hello (providers name)

I saw your profile and I’d love to set an appointment with you. However, I do have a few questions first. I’m new to talking about this but the reason I’m seeking a provider is I had a traumatic experience with sex that I want to work through. I was wondering do you have any experience or special training with sexual trauma? I’m seeking a professional who can understand and help me navigate my relationship with sex. 

Regards,

(Your name here)

Isn’t that less intimidating than you thought it would be? The initial message doesn’t have to unpack all of your experiences. You are just searching for a provider who has this experience right now. If the provider responds and tells you yes, they have this experience, and these are their qualifications you can dive into your goals and give the provider the information you feel comfortable sharing. 

The path to sexual confidence after trauma starts with an honest conversation with yourself and an email. Two steps to creating the future you want.

Isn’t it worth reaching out and trying?

 

DelilahRae@SagebrushRanch.com Email me today! 

 

Delilah Rae

I am Currently a Sagebrush Ranch Starlet. We all have secrets and desires we want to share. Those little things we need in our lives that we haven’t quite found yet. We all want to touch, taste, feel and see all the world has to offer. Sadly, we are often limited in what we can explore in ourselves and others. Luckily all those taboos and limitations fall away when you enter my room. Secrets become shared experiences and every desire is chased after to completion.

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I’m A Furious Fellatio Freak – Aisha Shah

The model and actress Jerri Hall once famously described which sex act did the most to enhance and strengthen her relationships with men: the spontaneous BJ: “Even if you only have two seconds, drop everything and give him a blow job.” Considering that she lasted 22 years, and four kids, in a marriage to Sir Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones, one of the world’s randiest sex symbols, and now is married to billionaire Rupert Murdoch, she must know what’s she’s talking about, oral sexually speaking. We women have a certain erotic advantage over men: When we get a guy turned on, his body produces an unmistakable, observable physical response. His penis awakens, thickens, hardens, and lengthens until it’s pointing northwards. Some guys may be embarrassed and try to hide their erections, but their dicks are dicks after all, and they want to be seen and stroked and kissed and sucked and fucked.

And appreciated, especially. Sometimes, when I unzip a man’s pants or tug down his shorts, and bring his bad boy flopping and bouncing out into the open, sometimes my eyes get wide with delight because I’m a connoisseur of cock. When a man spots that look, his penis swells up as if it’s proud of itself. (And well it should be!) I admire a well-formed shaft, perfused with blood, and on top a handsome, healthy purple cockhead ready to be tasted and later, to spearhead an exquisitely gratifying slide balls-deep into my pussy.

As soon as I see that that tower of fleshly plowing-power is fully stiff, I unwrap a condom, and slip it ever so slowly on. I use a sweet, teasing technique with my hand where the guy feels like I’m slowly jacking him off while I gradually slip the sleeve of the rubber in my palm to the base of his cock. I squeeze some edible lubricant into my hand, spread it all over the condom, and then…

I grasp that lovely dong in my hand, stroke it gently, look up to make eye contact with my guy, and tell him he’s going to get a wild cocksucking like he’s never experienced before. “After I’ve got you throbbing and ready to ram yourself into me, (here I give him a quick, deep “sample” suck) I’m gonna blow you more and more, until you’re desperate to fuck, like a mad lion. OK?”

And I proceed to show him how a Knowing, talented, eager mouth can stimulate his blow pop. Sometimes I tickle his testicles while my lips smoke him like a big cigar. Sometimes I grip him at the bottom of his shaft, making it temporarily extra-hard, perfect for teasing kisses and sudden, head-bobbing sucks at the round glans. Sometimes I hold him in my mouth and whip my tongue around his manhood. Sometimes I have him hold my shoulders while his crazy cock fucks my sexy mouth.

If you want to get to know me, everything I’ve already said will tell you that I am an ardent dick-worshipper. Some people take a knee to make a political point, but when I kneel before a man’s fully engorged flesh-lance, my purpose is controlling his pleasure. The control lever that rests between a fighter pilot’s legs, straight up, didn’t get its nickname “joy stick” for nothing. When you have a man’s cock in your mouth, you have his full attention. If you are an expert fellatrix like me, all it takes is a see-through condom rolled carefully onto a stiffie, some edible lubricant, and my talented, eager lips, and I’ll have you arching your back and begging to tell me all your secrets while your anus puckers from the hard sucking up front.

A great BJ can also begin without my soft, warm mouth engulfing your Johnson, but with some teasing, anticipatory dirty talk. I like to get a new client comfortably settled in a chair, with his pants on, before we begin. Then I lean in and whisper in his ear: “Let me guess what kind of package you’ve got for me. It’s long and hard and tasty—and manly. I think once I get it out, I’m gonna get a grip on it, admire it, and turn myself on looking at it. I love sucking dick. It gets me sooo horny. Does it get you horny, honey?” By this time, when I glance at a man’s crotch, I’m going to see a hard bulge straining to get out and wave freely in the air. Some guys get so hard that when I unzip their pants and reach in, Mr. Happy pops out suddenly, like a snake darting out from its den. You know what types and shapes of cocks I like? All of them! Some guys have thin shafts and fat heads; some guys’ dicks are arrow pricks; other guys have cocks that curve upwards at the head; and some shy, not obviously macho guys will shock and amaze you with the size and strength of their tools. What’s great about a man’s penis is that I can never tell what I’ll find until I get his pants and underwear off.

Sometimes I like to tug off a client’s pants, leaving his dick inside his Jockeys briefly so I can imagine what that bulging mass will look like once I peel down his clingy underpants and expose his fuck-buddy. We sex workers see an exciting variety of dicks on the job, which is one of the benefits of doing what we do—and for the people we do. One of the things I love to do is to cradle a new cock in my hand and study and admire it like a work of art. I tell the guy what qualities I like about it, hoping he’ll keep my words of praise in his memory to help keep him confident in between our visits. I love strong, veiny, bobbing, heart-shaped-head cocks. But I also like thin, sensitive, slim-topped dicks, too. If the guy attached to a cock knows how to wield it in the tender, steady, deeply plunging, desperately fast-pumping business of penetrating a pussy, my oral skills will ensure he’s ready to fill me up.

I like to trace and tickle the outline of a man’s manhood with my fingernails. Some guys experience these teasing strokes as series of prickly waves shooting up the spine. After a few minutes of this foreplay, I’ve seen men get that crazy-to-fuck expression on their faces. The trick is to get them to wait and let the excitement and anticipation build up. Before I go down on a man, I like to give his cock a few slow strokes with my hand while we make eye contact. This builds trust (my laughing eyes and warm smile help) and lets him know that it’s not just any dick that I’m going to blow, but his alone, because I want to. You never know; some guys have never gotten a good knob-polishing from a pretty girl. (And some have been beneficiaries of the oral talents of many females, and know precisely what they want. Life is full of variety.)

The penis is the locus of a man’s deepest, wildest feelings of pleasure, and a woman’s ardent mouth can make him feel like a primitive Neanderthal roaming the ancient European plains with his mate, hunting and gathering, and stopping every few miles of traveling for a refreshing BJ and fuck with her.

While I’m fellating you, close your eyes and daydream about any fantasy situation you want. Whether it’s remembering your first BJ in the back seat of a car with an old girlfriend, or being pushed onto a bed by a drunk college girl eager to suck you dry at a dorm party, with me you’ll get the best head you’ve ever had.

And even better, after I’ve got you ready, you’re gonna get a slow, comfortable screwing—or a wild, no-holds-barred bam-bam fuckfest.

 

So contact me at AishaShah@bunnyranch.com. I guarantee satisfaction!

 

Aisha Shah

A highly coveted sex goddess of South Asian descent, Aisha Shah is a premier companion at Dennis Hof's Love Ranch North near Reno, Nevada and Love Ranch South near Las Vegas.

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Let me Nurture your Spirit with essential oils!

I am not a doctor and these statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This blog post is here for entertainment value 🙂 and I have no intention to heal, treat, cure, or diagnose with my methods. Consult your doctor before starting any regimen that might be potentially helpful and awesome for you!

 

So let’s start with some basic facts to start!

Essential oils:

  • Have been used for centuries as a holistic treatment to enhance emotional and physical well-being
  • Have fascinating aromatic qualities
  • Exist primarily as qualities that help protect the plants
  • Have history as alternative medicine
  • Known to Induce relaxation, clarity, focus, and other desired effects
  • Are extracted from various parts of plants, including bark, berries, flowers, leaves, peel, resin, rhizome, roots, and seeds
  • Can be breathed in, ingested, or applied directly to the skin

You may, or may not be surprised to know how widely-accepted the use of essential oils has become. Licensed masseuses, professional acupuncturists, and certified yoga instructors use these special oils as tools to enhance their work.

 

By integrating oils into the healing modality, (let’s say sex-therapy in my case), the energy and balance which is cultivated in the session will be enhanced with longer-lasting stability and feel-good effects. The oils interact holistically within our bodies at the cellular level.

These stable molecules are lipid soluble and therefore, rapidly are absorbed and accepted into the body. When I worked for an herbalist back home I learned to appreciate that holistic plant medicine is not forceful, but instead it gently assists the body in it’s optimal functioning. The body is able to pick and use what it needs and is able to dispel the rest.

Personally, I like to add a few drops of my essential oil to a palmful of sweet almond oil to create a uniquely rockin’ massage oil. When I massage the oils into the skin, (I like to do the temples, chest, and bottoms of the feet) I am giving you Instant benefits because the body pulls the oils in due to increased blood flow in these areas.

That sweet stimuli of touch is my secret to meaningful and memorable moments here at the ranch. Warm touch invites a sense of connection and trust.

 

I take you into my room and ask you to select what kind of feeling you would like: Uplifting, Invigorating, or Calming.

From there, I will walk over to my oils box and select a couple of options for you to smell, perhaps a cedar wood and a juniper balancing mix if you ask to feel calm, strong, and rooted. If you are looking to ‘wake up!’ Peppermint and citrus smell are my classic go-to. For a sexy, subtle and sultry experience, I often favor ylang ylang and jasmine. I also have a cocoa smelling oil for a really nice treat!

I like diffuse the oil throughout the air for a divine aromatic experience.

Certain essential oils have proven to enhance the libido. They reduce stress and can regulate hormones. I insist that my clients’ exit my space in a more healthy, happy and balanced state then when they first arrive. The usage of essential oils, paired with my down-to earth, sweet caring vibes do just that.

Rose Oil, Bold and Daring: It is no wonder why the exchange roses are so popular among lovers. Rose oil is utilized for it aphrodisiac and calming qualities.

Jasmine Oil, Unique, Balancing and Exotic: The flowers of the jasmine plant are quite warm and sensual. I use to enhance a romantic encounter and increase attraction. Pure Jasmine oil will refresh the senses and enhance alertness.

Clary Sage, Balancing and Soothing: When hormonal imbalances are at play, clary sage provides a homeopathic approach to return to balance. Clary Sage can uplift a cloudy mood.

Yang Ylang, Rich and Invigorating: With a gentle floral scent that appeals to most; it elevates sexual energy often can be paired with a sandalwood to create an earthy invitation.

Neroli, Intense and Uplifting: This scent is derived from the orange blossoms and increases sexual desire. Neroli also is a stress reliever and hormone balancer.

Fennel, Sweet and Spicy: Increases libido due to some estrogenic effects. It’s usage supports the female body in it’s unique systems

 

I love essential oils and I think that you will too.

I can’t wait to see which ones you choose!

XO Mercedes

Mercedes

Sexy and fit, Mercedes is the luxury companion with a body that can do things you won't believe. A headliner at Dennis Hof's Moonlite Bunny Ranch, Mercedes looks forward to turning every single one of your sexual fantasies into sweet memories.

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Let’s Lose Our Shirts Playing Strip Poker!

Still nervous about having your first threesome at Dennis Hof’s world famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch? Well, what better way to break the ice, and shift your libido into high gear, than a friendly game of strip poker with a pair of sex bombs? I’m not bluffing when I say that nothing makes for better foreplay than a deck of cards, you, me, and my fellow Bunny Babe Tiara Tae — We’re two of a kind, and the odds are pretty good that you’ll have the best three-way sex of your life!

You’ll be thrilled that you placed your bets with us, because in this game of strip poker everybody loses their shirt — and we’re just itching for your one-eyed-Jack to go all-in…there’s no-limit to what the three of us can do together!

Click on a thumbnail below to view the pictures from our photo set, and consider making this fantasy threesome a reality with these two card sharks at the Bunny Ranch!

Chance Monet

At 5'11," breathtaking 20-year-old knockout Chance Monet is the statuesque stunner you've been fantasizing about. Providing the finest Girlfriend Experience in the Reno / Lake Tahoe area, Chance is currently a featured entertainer at Dennis Hof's Moonlite Bunny Ranch.

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