Getting Back Into The Sex Game: Virgins, Widowers, Divorcés, & More

Posted by Jade Capri on October 6, 2016

I have been a working girl at Dennis Hof’s Love Ranch (located across the street from the Bunny Ranch) for quite a while now. When I first started as a legal courtesan, I had sexual experience, have had different partners and relationships, but I wasn’t prepared for what would happen next.  

I was so nervous the first time I was with a client that the first person who picked me in line up walked out on me. He was just as nervous as I was and neither of us were prepared to cope with each other’s anxiety. As time passed, I overcame my shyness, and I became more relaxed and better able to cater to clientele requiring my special type of sensitivity, such as adult virgins, the shy, widowers, the rusty and the recently divorced.

What drives someone to seek out a working girl?

The idea of a sexual experience for many can cause major anxiety and nervousness whether it has to do with performance limitations, lack of experience, or inadequacy of any sort in the bedroom. Not to mention how many men can be self-conscious of their personal appearance and never make a “move,” overthinking about how girls view them.

For many, engaging with the opposite sex and pursuing a relationship doesn’t come easy. There are a lot of guys who legitimately need intimate guidance from a discreet and empathetic woman to help men overcome their inhibitions about sex. This is why they contact women like myself.

I have received many emails that started with people pouring their hearts out to me, tormented souls who felt as if they were alone in the world. The truth is that their plight is very common, and as we corresponded and got to know each other, it became clear that the solution to their problem was to connect, spiritually and sexually, with someone who understood them and was sympathetic to their needs. Below are some details about the types of individuals that often seek my services.   

Adult Virgins

I can sit here and tell them over email all day long how they shouldn’t be feeling afraid, anxious or nervous, that everything will be okay when they come visit. Society doesn’t always understand why someone could have not lost their virginity at the “right” time. What is their idea of a right time anyway? It’s when you feel comfortable and confident that it’s your right time. Truth of the matter is that some have waited to save themselves for when they find love, others have missed an opportunity by being too polite and falling into the “friend” category, others pursued girls that were simply not interested in any interaction with them. 

Reasons for being an adult virgin can include religious upbringing, family background, being an introvert, putting school and degree first (it’s a form of not being distracted from life goals), even being a loner plays a big role on why a man over the age of 18 is still a virgin. It’s common to find people that will resort to being alone in order to avoid the pressure society puts on them. 

What I try to explain to people is that being a virgin, and not having experienced sex or anything about sexuality with another human being, is mostly about not having the courage to let go and give yourself to another. Putting pressure on yourself and thinking over and over about all the negative things that could happen is a type of excuse to not try. A lot times is easier to think that waiting or tricking your mind that you don’t need it is an escape. 

It’s not an easy decision to set a date for your first sexual experience with a woman when planning a trip to a brothel to see a working girl, but it is a start to a healthy sex life and a worthwhile learning experience. Remember, having sex for the first time is only wetting your toes in an ocean of possibilities. You’ll never learn to swim if you avoid the water.

The Shy 

A lot men get really anxious, nervous and almost scared about talking to women. It’s a real struggle for some to think about interaction with the opposite sex and push through it to talk to them. I have met many that described that feeling being at times similar to a physical pain, almost like and invisible force they could never overcome. 

Some will try online interaction with ladies, but never make themselves go on a date as the thought of rejection is stronger than the desire of following it through.  Many shy man find themselves in the Adult Virgin or Rusty category. A number of shy men have experienced sex, but might fall in to the Rusty category as it takes a long time for them to feel comfortable with another person. These type of guys can be great conversationalists given the chance. Many have very interesting hobbies and would love to share with a girl, but the thought of being intimate with a lady that they are interested in having a relationship with is like sending people to do the most impossible task you can think in life. 

If you build the courage to visit me, I try to point out the good as well as what needs improvement. It’s much like a real life exercise in that you don’t need to be perfect, you just need to try – and a lot of times that works. Encouraging a person to do something that is emotionally painful to them while in a supportive environment can do wonders for a person. I am not saying that it will be instantly successful, but before you realize it, you will open up to things you never thought would be possible, and learn a great deal as you allow yourself to indulge in new sexual experiences. 

The Rusty

There can be a lot of reasons why men take a sabbatical from sex at certain times in their lives. Some don’t even realize it is happening until one or two years go by and they realize they are taking time to raise the kids, enduring a marriage that does not include sex, healing from a past relationship, or have been divorced for a while, widowed, or dealing with health issues.

Being rusty does not mean they don’t know what to do, just that they haven’t had a partner in a while for a number of reasons including the ones above.

It might come as a surprise to women, but it’s hard for many men to get back in the “game” after not having any kind of physical intimacy for a while. Yes, over time, men can develop a degree of anxiety towards interaction with women that will paralyze them from approaching the opposite sex. 

A lot times it’s that barrier that I help break with my dates here at the Love Ranch. Many people feel like they can take on the world after visiting with me, and that is the way a lot of my rusty visitors want to feel: confident and prepared to reenter sexual society. 

Widowers

Losing a partner of many years can be utterly devastating. It’s important to engage in different activities to keep your mind occupied. The family may provide great support and spend time with you, but it’s not the same as having a presence of a woman. I know you will catch yourself feeling guilty at times because you are experiencing positive things while your partner is gone. 

I have met people who have lost their wives years ago and did not know what to do next. They were basically stuck in a limbo that didn’t provide any light at the end of the tunnel. I know how it is because I have been there. I lost my love four years into our relationship, and it was one of the most difficult task to overcome in my life. I thought that I would never find love again. 

It can be very hard to bounce back and rediscover intimacy with a woman. It feels like looking for the person you lost in others and trying to compare every single aspect of your lost relationship. 

I can help you muster up the actual courage to pursue sexual intimacy with a new person. I have successful stories where people opened up to me and let themselves enjoy the moment. It’s a long process to learn how to start living a life without your honey, but it’s a path that you must take in order to find ongoing happiness. My lesson is that you find a place in your heart for your loved one and tuck her in. It will be a safe place to go when you want to remember the experiences you lived together. That won’t go away. You will just learn that you can find fun and good moments with another person. That might take time, but it will happen. 

The Divorced

While you may have been thinking that an interaction with a woman wasn’t in your plans for a while after a divorce, the desire for another’s touch might overpower your plans. Your body has needs and you may find yourself thinking “How will I begin again?” How to get your mind around the fact that you are past the club scene, but certainly youthful enough to spend time with a new partner. 

Forget all the bitterness that went through you and your ex during the divorce. Now, you need to focus, be positive, and get back in the game. You probably had sex with one person for a long time or haven’t had it in a while. Whatever your situation is, it’s clear that you need a little push. You just need an incentive to get moving in this life that doesn’t stop for anyone. 

You will have to get out, way out of your comfort zone and experience the cruel world of dating again. Trust me, ladies can be a little judgmental when looking for a new specimen, and they will know you are the new deer-in-headlights on the block. You will probably have to start meeting new people, friends of friends, accepting invitations to parties and get togethers. Some will be dreadful and some will be fun. You won’t find someone that you click with in a snap of a finger, but don’t get discouraged. It will happen. You will also have many good stories to tell after a few dates.

You will probably need a little more than just the physical touch of a woman in your life. It is like riding a bicycle again, but depending how long you have been married it will be like an “exploring time” to learn new things sexually and get a feel for intimacy with a different person. 

Why not combine it all and have one person be your part-time new lover, stylist, confidante – someone that will boost your spirits and show you that is not the end of the world by a longshot.  

Seeing a working girl is a short cut to the fun time without the pressure. Being with me, you will get to experience intimacy without the need to impress or prove yourself all over again. Sometimes is ok to treat yourself to what you truly want, without compromise or judgement. I will be open to what you like and show you things that you might have yet to experience. All in your own time, of course.