"Tarts For Trump" Opens Campaign Office At Bunny Ranch Brothel

Posted by Dennis Hof on October 2, 2016

We have some big political news coming today from the Bunny Ranch–A group of the girls have formed “Tarts For Trump”, to support Donald Trump for president, and to provide an alternative to “Hookers For Hillary.” The pro-Trump Bunnies say that Trump’s support for personal freedoms, entrepreneurial opportunities, and women’s rights, had earned him their backing. I say bravo to them! While I am not taking sides between the two groups, I am proud they are all participating in the electoral process. They say they feel Trump is very ‘pro-whore,’and his positions are very supportive of prostitution and improving the daily lives of working girls.

The “Tarts For Trump” have so far identified and articulated a slew of campaign issues they are in agreement with Donald Trump on, and have issued the following statement:

America First

“Donald Trump’s protectionist trade policies have resonated with the Bunny Ranch’s prostitutes who have long been frustrated with competition from overseas prostitutes who severely undercut their rates and cost American sex workers’ jobs.  During the Obama administration, U.S. Secret Service agents were even caught visiting overseas brothels on trips abroad, leaving American dollars in foreign hands.  Our conscientious courtesans say when it comes to the prostitution trade, Americans should come first!”

Strong Borders

“Donald Trump has made the need to build a wall along our southern border a central issue of his campaign, and Nevada’s legal prostitutes have experienced first-hand the positive results of barrier protection.  Whether that barrier is made of concrete or latex, the ladies of the Bunny Ranch reprise the immortal words of Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev when they sing in unison, ‘Mr. Trump, build that wall!'”

Child Care Deduction

“Because many of the single mothers who work as Bunny Ranch prostitutes earn lucrative annual incomes that land them in the top bracket of taxpayers, they would benefit from Trump’s proposed child care deduction.  In a Trump administration, the ability to write off the cost of a nanny is something that Ivanka Trump and these women of ill repute would happily share!”

Veterans

“If there’s one thing that the ladies at the Bunny Ranch know something about, it’s providing aid and comfort to those who have served their country.  Donald Trump says our veterans deserve better, and the comfort women of the Bunny Ranch want to personally put the ‘service’ back in the U.S.O. In a Trump administration, Nevada’s legal sex workers believe that loose lips will actually bring nationalist pride back to full mast!”

Ultimately my girls will have to decide whether Clinton or Trump will be the better friend to hookers if elected. Nevada is a battleground state in the presidential election, so their votes could have a real impact. Over the course of the past few years thousands of voting-eligible women have received prostitution licenses at several dozen Nevada brothels. Together they form a significant “Vice Vote” voting bloc in both local and national elections–and especially in ‘low-population’ but ‘high profile’ states such as Nevada. “Tarts For Trump?” “Hookers For Hillary?” I say let the games begin!