LOVE AT FIRST BITE WITH GEORGE HAMILTON AND I CAN'T REMEMBER THE GIRL'S NAME FUNNY RIDICULOUS HAMILTON AT HIS BEST IF THAT'S POSSIBLE WITH THAT GUY
Words and Music, early John Wayne picture where he was still listed as Duke Morrison he sang he danced he had a top hat you would have thought he was a very bad Fred Astaire
Return of the Living Dead. I guess this is a kind of horror/comedy, although it scared the hell out of eleven-year-old me back in '85. It's most notable for being the very first zombie movie to postulate that the living dead craved human brains, and it also gave a reason why. "I can feel myself rot." ~ 1/2 Woman Zombie "Eating brains... How does that make you feel?" ~ Ernie Kaltenbrunner "It makes the pain, go away!" ~ 1/2 Woman Zombie
Tao of Steve. This is a really enjoyable, independent, romantic comedy. It centers around a guy named Dex who works part-time as a pre-school teacher, loves philosophy, is dangerously overweight, and is a master at seducing women. Inevitably, the one woman he truly loves does not love him, in this case because they slept together in college, and he never called her again. I really love this movie. "Look at me. Look at me, okay? Technically, I shouldn't be getting laid, but I do. And do you know why, Dave? Because when I'm hanging out with a woman, that's all I'm doing is hanging out, talking, listening. I'm not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with her. And this completely confuses them because they're saying 'Wait a minute. I'm so much better looking than this guy. Isn't he attracted to me?' The basic principle: We pursue that which retreats from us." ~ Dex
TRAIL OF TEARS, INSIPID TALEOF GUILT BY THE WHITE MAN OF THIS COUNTRY SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN MADE IT'S RIDICULOUS IT MAKES THE INDIAN SEEM LIKE THAT THEY WERE PERFECT AND THEY WERE BLOODTHIRSTY AND VILLAINOUS EVEN TO EACH OTHER
War Wagon. This is a lighthearted John Wayne movie with Kirk Douglas and Keenan Wynne. Wayne, having just been released from prison for a crime he didn't commit, plans to rob an armed and armored stage coach owned by the man who framed him (and stole his ranch). "Have you taken a look lately at the cemetery in Emmett? There's a bunch of cheap wooden crosses in one corner all kind of crowded in together. That's the tribute to the last fools who tried to stop The War Wagon. Like facts? A dollar fifteen for the casket, twelve cents for the crosses - Pierce foots the bill. A dollar twenty seven seems a poor price for a man's life - especially mine." ~ Lomax
Yesterday. I have to admit, I haven't seen this, but I've heard of it, and I needed a "Y" movie. "After falling ill, Yesterday learns that she is HIV positive. With her husband in denial and young daughter to tend to, Yesterday's one goal is to live long enough to see her child go to school." ~ IMDB Description
Appaloosa. A fine post-Unforgiven western directed by Ed Harris, based on a book (one of a series) by Robert B. Parker. I really liked the movie, and it seems it was something of a labor of love for Harris. "Everett, we've been together now a while. Can't exactly say how long, but long. Ain't anybody I'd rather do this work with. You're as good as anybody I've seen, except maybe the Shelton boys and me. The reason you ain't as good as the Sheltons or me ain't got nothing to do with steady or fast or fortuitous. The reason the above-named folks are better than you is because you got feelings." ~ Virgil Cole to Everett Hitch
Dune. David Lynch's big screen adaptation of Frank Herbert's novel didn't do well in its day, but has become something of a cult classic. I'm a member of that particular cult. While the book, is, of course, much better than the movie, it was the movie that turned me on to the book. "A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then, that it is the year 10191. The known universe is ruled by the Padisha Emperor Shaddam IV, my father. In this time, the most precious substance in the Universe is the spice melange. The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice is vital to space travel. The Spacing Guild and its navigators, who the spice has mutated over four-thousand years, use the orange spice gas, which gives them the ability to fold space. That is, travel to any part of the Universe without moving. Oh yes, I forget to tell you. The spice exists on only one planet in the entire Universe. A desolate, dry planet with vast deserts. Hidden away within the rocks of these deserts are a people known as the Fremen, who have long held a prophecy, that a man would come, a messiah, who would lead them to true freedom. The planet is Arrakis. Also known as Dune." ~ Princess Irulan
F/X - I used to really like this movie, although it doesn't exactly hold up particularly well. Brian Dennehy gives a good performance though.
Hancock. Will Smith plays a rather surly superhero in this bitter-sweet story. This starts out as a comedy, but becomes more serious as it goes on. "If you don't give yourselves up quietly, I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass, and you drew the short stick, cause your head is going up my ass!" ~ Hancock
My Science Project. A fun '80's sci-fi/comedy about a kid who needs to complete a science project in order to graduate high school, and steals what turns out to be an engine from a crashed U.F.O. Hijinks ensue when the engine activates, and opens a rift in space at time at the local high school. The theme song was done by a one-hit-wonder band called The Tubes, who are best known for a song called "She's a Beauty." Dinosaurs, post-apocalyptic mutants, cave men, Dennis Hopper... This movie has it all! "Danger makes great sex. Catch you guys later!" ~ Vince Latello