Is it a sin for a single man to go to a brothel?

Life is too short. Have fun and explore all your fantasies while you can.

 

I am out to the ranch next week.

 

Awesome @carlitoalex and I hope to meet you during your visit and hopefully fulfill your fantasies!!!

 

I get down on the church for the way it has handled sex over the centuries. But now and then I'm reminded of the beauty that still exists within it. What a lovely Royal wedding today between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. I loved the sermon by Episcopal Bishop Michael Curry.

Couple thoughts:

Persons within the church are hoping voters will decide that there should be no more brothels in Lyon County. That would be a tragedy - for all the jobs affected, for the tax revenue lost, and not least, for the opportunities lost to experience human intimacy. And yet from the church also comes a beautiful reminder about how we ought to live in this world.

Bishop Curry spoke:
Someone once said that Jesus began the most revolutionary movement in human history. A movement grounded in the unconditional love of God for the world. And a movement mandating people to live and love and in so doing, to change not only their lives but the very life of the world itself. I'm talking about some power -- real power. Power to change the world.

If you don't believe me, well, there was more slaves in America's antebellum South who explained the dynamic power of love and why it has the power to transform. They explained it this way, they sang a spiritual even in the midst of their captivity. It's one that says there is a balm in Gilead, a healing balm. Something that can make things right, there is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole.

Bishop Curry was talking about love. Makes me think of what @LexieJames said at the Lyon County commissioners meeting recently--that she offers the experience of love.

Of course it's love by different rules. But that doesn't make it any less meaningful for those who for whatever reason have a very hard time finding it in this world.

Did you see the love between Meghan and Harry today? No, you won't find that at the brothels - sorry! But you can find an openness and an acceptance of who you are, including who you are physically and sexually. No, it's not free. But it might be the first taste that some men (or women) have had of it. And that's not a bad thing, not a bad thing at all.

Those of us that sought intimacy long and hard were glad to hear of the "balm in Gilead": legal NV brothels. For many of us it was and is a dream come true. (Yeah, I get emotional thinking about this in my own life--good thing you can't see me right now, lol)

Author M. Scott Peck, who wrote the 1978 classic The Road Less Traveled, said that we as humans have this odd ability to "re-cognize" when something is true--to "know again." It's as if we've seen it before, somehow. I would never dogmatically say I know what's going on in the universe, but when I heard Bishop Curry preach, I thought, "Yep. That's it. That's real."

Keep loving, ladies. Keep being gentlemen, gents. No, it's not easy. But it's worth it. Just believe that you're closer to the source of What is Right than those who wish the brothels gone.

 

I really appreciate that you read the article and fully understood what I meant about "selling love." The fundamental belief of Christianity is that God is Love, so what could possibly be wrong with us giving love to those who have lost their wives, or have been unable to feel love through intimacy because of disability or social anxieties or a very strict religious repression growing up.
If some of the church folks came in to speak with us and our clients directly instead of just harshly judging us for being "sinners" (which by the way, I am pretty sure the bible tells us not to judge one another but rather leave that for God) then perhaps they would understand that we don't need saving, we need support.
I appreciate all you amazing people who are supporting us through this process!

 

Neither. Not a role play when you really ARE a minister. Some of my counseling sessions don't end in sex but most are all about the sex.

 

Jesus saved his harshest criticisms for the ultra-pious, who always "got it right," who were uber-obsessed with religious rules and regulations, who were doubly sure they would get into heaven. Matthew 23 is a prime example.

Because one of the ulterior motives of the religious groups that want to see the brothels closed is the "salvation of the lost," I offer a few excerpts from pastor Rob Bell's book Love Wins (2011) about how folks "know" who goes to heaven and who doesn't. It's actually funny in a tragic kind of way.


Then in Matthew 7 Jesus explains, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom, but only those who do the will of my Father.” And then in Matthew 10 he teaches that “those who stand firm till the end will be saved.”

So do we have to forgive others, do the will of the Father, or “stand firm” to be accepted by God?

Which is it? Is it what we say, or what we are, or who we forgive, or whether we do the will of God, or if we “stand firm” or not?

But then in Luke 19, a man named Zacchaeus tells Jesus, “Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus’s response? “Today salvation has come to this house.”

So is it what we say, or is it who we are, or is it what we do, or is it what we say we’re going to do?

And then in Mark 2, Jesus is teaching in a house and some men cut a hole in the roof and lower down their sick friend for Jesus to heal. When Jesus sees their faith, he says to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

His sins are forgiven because of their faith?

Is it what you say, or who you are, or what you do, or what you say you’re going to do, or is it who your friends are or what your friends do?

But then in 1 Corinthians 7 it’s written: “How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” And then Paul writes in his first letter to Timothy that women “will be saved through childbearing” (chap. 2). [I'm sure the ladies will all love this one!]

So is it what you say, or who you are, or what you do, or what you say you’re going to do, or who your friends are, or who you’re married to, or whether you give birth to children?

Bell, Rob. Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived (p. 16). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

Take-home message: keep to the basics, everyone. No one has it all figured out. No one has the market cornered on the afterlife. Yet most of us would be able to agree on the basics of how to live well in this life: don't merely focus on your own needs, but be attentive to those of others. Give love. Be kind. Count your blessings. These are teachings at the root of the world's major religions and humanism, as well.

 

There is nothing sinful about having sex

 

I think just as important as it is for women to express their body however they would like, it is just as important for a man!
And in our line of business we cannot pass any judgment! Whatever happens here stays here and I have very good memories I must say! I think it's all about doing whatever makes you happy and men seem to love the ladies are and leave with a smile!

 

Excited by this new book cover - looks like a must-read from Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber!

 

Snip a lot of religious mumbo jumbo.

Based on the actions of the xian faithful, christian LEADERS are hypocrites and as such, I will not engage on those topics. Yes, I danced a jig when Falwell died with his face in a bowl of soup. Live with it.

 

This is a very interesting subject, and considering that everyone on this board is either a provider or a consumer, we all have a bias opinion. But I do think there are many varying layers.

Sin depends on what you believe in. I think the better question, as was touched on earlier, is "is it wrong to visit a brothel?"

Again, that depends on what you believe in. But even if you take the religious and sin out of the equation, the morality of it can still be a subject of discussion.

Beyond procreation, sec can take on many forms. Expressions of love, of pleasure, etc. So when done in our private lives, is an expression of love and affection for the person we are with. For many of us, the women that we have sex with in a brothel definitely wouldn't be giving us that time of day if we met them in our personal lives. The nature of exchanging money for sex, seen as buying someone's body, can be seen as objectifying and treating the woman as solely an object for sexual pleasure, and not treating them as a person. So sex work can be looked down upon.

However... degrading sex can happen in real life too. And there are certainly no laws or regulations against that (barring actual harm to the person, of course). And in a brothel, the women are completely consenting to be there, and have chosen to be there. They are not there against their will. They are not trafficked in. And knowing the education levels and outside ventures of many of these women, in many cases it certainly isn't because they "had not other options". They are here because they want to be, and they enjoy what it is they are doing.

Also, while I haven't seen / heard @LexieJames statement on selling love... there really is a lot of truth to that as well. For many of us, for whatever reasons, finding love from a woman in the real world has been a challenge. That can lead to a lot of issues, like social anxiety, depression, etc. Is it so wrong to come to a brothel to find a moment of intimacy? I mean, I go to a therapist to sort out my emotional and mental issues. I'm paying to talk to someone who probably wouldn't talk to me in their personal lives either... so is getting a little physical therapy so wrong? To be able to enjoy that intimacy for but a moment? For some of us, that yearly trip, or whatever we may be able to do, is something we've looked forward to the entire time because we don't get to experience that intimacy in between visits.

I don't deny that there is a lot of moral deviancy that happens in brothels. I'm sure women get lots of asshole guys that come in and treat them like crap, and truly are objectifying them, and treating them disrespectfully.

But ultimately, while yes I think there is a discussion to be had on both sides of the equation regarding the morality of visiting a brothel, in the grand scheme of things, no, I don't believe it to be morally wrong. To believe it to be morally wrong is to believe that sex is morally wrong. But if sex were morally wrong, we wouldn't have been created as male and female. We wouldn't have been given sexual organs. Sex wouldn't be pleasurable. Whether you believe in God, or simply nature, the fact is, whatever created us created us to have sex. In a brothel, you are dealing with women who have chosen of their own autonomy to be there, and men who have chosen of their own free will to go there. In a brothel, the woman is able to take control and make her own rules as far as what does or doesn't go with her. Quite frankly, it is the control that women have over the encounters that have me going to a brothel. I know that when I am visiting with a woman there, she is giving her full consent as an adult to be there and engage in our activities together. I know that she is in a situation where she is safe. 2 people giving each other pleasure in the privacy of their own room in a fully consensual environment and in a way that does no harm to anyone involved, no, I don't believe that to be wrong.

 

When I hear that song I think of Sons of Anarchy season 1 finale

 

Well said, sir.
Brothels can be truly special places.

 

For sure banging away sucking and fucking then sucking and fucking some more.

 

Excerpt from a very moving VICE article written by a sex worker.

My mother has always done her best to love me and take care of me, and I know this. But I come from an extremely religious, conservative family—house full of kids and fire and brimstone. I’ve always lived my life in extreme and unusual ways and it scares her. She wants me to be safe. There’s so much I haven’t told her because whenever I try to, I freeze. I was worried if I came out to her while living with her that she and my father would have sent me to gay conversion camp or that they would kick me out of the house and I would be homeless, which had happened to some of my friends. I like to think that she would have accepted me, but I don’t know.

When I think about it now, I think she must already know. My face is all over the internet. Surely someone at our church who looks at porn or sees escorts has told her about it by now, under the guise of concern.

I want so deeply to be loved and accepted by her. I want her to know I’m finally happy, after years of struggling with depression and anxiety and physical pain...

To paraphrase John Fugelsang, "If your religion demands you reject your children if they don't sexually behave a certain way, your religion sucks at religion."

 

Best version I ever heard was my slide mentor, Lee Roy Parnell with the Fairfield Four.

 

Bobbi knows what time it is!

-Pure heart with a dirty mind,
Randy Ryder

 

Yep because once your tied down you will regret it!

-Pure heart with a dirty mind,
Randy Ryder

 

On second thought you could always bring her too!!

-Pure heart with a dirty mind,
Randy Ryder

 

I was tied down twice. Both ended because I refused to help them get pregnant. I had been very up-front about not wanting to be a parent, but they thought I'd 'change. Ask them how that worked out for them. You could say I'm tied now, but I'm not married, any more. I can't afford more than once a year and even then, you'll consider me 'low rent.' But I will eventually visit, and we can continue the discussion over a beer or a bowl.

 

You ain't the only one on the once a year, low rent plan lol

But got damn it I enjoy it! And I hope my girls have enjoyed their times with me too!

 

I am going to the ranch next week.

 

Your right Randy. I should go there more often.

 

What about a married man Alice?

 

Yes I am taking advantage of my freedom, I will have 3 parties at Bunny ranch next week.

 

Can't wait to see you next Saturday Bobbi.

 

I’m right most of the time. Hehe

-Pure heart with a dirty mind,
Randy Ryder

 

I never see it as one those ladies there are providing a necessary service. People are going to have sex regardless of whether its a sin or not. Why would we be given such a gift and not be able to use it?

 

First off your an grown ass man, there shouldn't be no one to be telling you this, cause he not the place to judge. God will decide that when it's time. Everybody is a sinner, we are God temple. If you trust and believe God then there nothing worry about it. Just do you.

 

Never a sin to enjoy yourself !


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Great article by psychologist Dr. David Ley. Emphasis in bold is mine. The principal subject is "porn addiction," but it is still useful and thought-provoking for this thread, because he points out that for the morally conflicted, porn itself usually isn't the problem - it's their religious beliefs that are holding them in a cycle of guilt and shame.

"In therapy, instead of trying to change people’s porn use patterns, we should instead be focused on helping them to make their values and behaviors congruent, and learning to understand and recognize the impact of their moral beliefs. This conflict between morality and sexual behaviors may be resolved by changing one’s sexual behaviors OR by changing one’s values OR simply by helping people become conscious and mindful of this internal conflict. Many of the moral values we were raised with, about sex, race or gender, are no longer fully applicable to the modern world. Because of religious opposition to sexual education, many people struggling with masturbation to porn don’t understand what is normal, and that their sexual interests are healthy. Helping people to consciously examine and consider their religious beliefs about sex, masturbation and porn, with modern, adult, self-determining eyes, may help them reduce the pain and suffering caused by this moral conflict."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ed-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too

 

Exactly!!

Like I said before. It’s a SIN to not visit us!!

-Pure heart with a dirty mind,
Randy Ryder

 

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Hehe!

-Pure heart with a dirty mind,
Randy Ryder