Tell Me a Joke....

Discussion in 'Games' started by DahliaBlue, Jul 8, 2016.

  1. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?

    A: Its Braille for "suck here."
     
  2. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    An elderly madam walks into a bar, and announces that she will spend the night with whoever can guess the weight of her pet canary that's sitting on her little finger.

    An old drunk yelled out, "Fifty pounds!"

    She replied, "Close enough."
     
  3. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
    -
    Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
     
  4. Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"

    The old woman replies shyly, "Depends... ."
     
  5. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Given the recent slowdown in iPhone X sales, Apple announced today that it will skip the wearables market and develop a line of digital implants for adults. Shipping in the summer of 2018, the Apple iBoob is a breast enhancement device that can store and play music. Sold in pairs, the new Apple iBoobs will cost from $999 to $1399 depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
     

  6. Hahaha! But seriously.... I'd buy a pair! :p:p:p:p
     
  7. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: What do you call a blonde with a brain?

    A: A golden retriever.
     
  8. C_Note_KY
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    C_Note_KY Well-Known Member

    Why do boy babies ride up higher in a mother's womb??

    They got a kickstand ...
     
  9. Q: What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly?
    A: Game of Clones

    Q: Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
    A: To get to the Dark Side.

    Q: What did Emperor Palpatine say to Darth Vader?
    A: Merry Sithmas.

    Q: When did Anakin's Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?
    A: In the Sith Grade.
     
  10. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?

    A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party....A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.
     
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  11. Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

    My name is Paul.
     
  12. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
     
  13. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?

    A: A 69 interrupted by a period
     
  14. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Yesterday was international women's equality day and international dog day.
    What a great day for bitches.
     
  15. What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
    -
    Snowballs.
     
  16. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly, he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then, he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then, another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was. "This is a brothel" replied the madam.
    "Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.
    "Oh, we're having a yard sale today."
     
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  17. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

    A: A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
     
    sonja likes this.

  18. Yup - Over and over again! :D:D:D:D
     
  19. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: What did the normal baby say to the test tube baby?

    A: Ha..ha... your dad is a jerk off!
     
  20. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    There was a horny young lady named Lil,
    Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill.
    They found her vagina
    In North Carolina,
    And bits of her tits in Brazil!
     
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  21. C_Note_KY
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    C_Note_KY Well-Known Member

    I love limericks, reminds me of the classic from Jaws ...

    Here lies the body of Maggie Lee
    Lived to the age of a hundred and three
    For fifteen years she kept her virginity
    Not a bad record for this here vicinity
     
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  22. Love that one! okay... here's another...

    There was an Old Man of Nantucket
    Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
    His daughter, called Nan,
    Ran away with a man,
    And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
     
  23. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: How do you clean a condom?

    A: Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!
     
  24. I don’t think women should be allowed to have kids after 40. 40 kids is way too much by any standard.
     
  25. My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
     
  26. AzaleaLove
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    AzaleaLove Juicy, Sweet, 6 Foot, Blonde Goddess

    Whats the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

    Men will actually look for a golf ball
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
  27. AzaleaLove
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    AzaleaLove Juicy, Sweet, 6 Foot, Blonde Goddess

    What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
    If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

    [smilie=happy.gif][smilie=happy.gif][smilie=happy.gif]
     
  28. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night -- I can smell c**k in the air.
    Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
     
  29. All these jokes are so funny haha!
     
  30. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list.
    Q: What does she have?
    A: Huge boobs.
     
  31. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    A dad was taking his daughter with him to the barbers and she asked what she was going to do while they were there. Her dad stopped and got her a bug juice and a Twinkie to keep her busy. When it was time for the dad to receive his hair cut his daughter followed along and stood by her dad. The barber told the little girl to go sit down because she might get hair on her twinkie. The little girl responded, "I know, and I'm going to get boobs too"
     
  32. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee when the toilet seat falls down on top of his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mom comes running into the room wondering what's going on. He tells his mother, "Mommy, the toilet seat fell on top of my penis. Kiss it better." "Johnny you are getting more and more like your father everyday." His mother says.
     
  33. If you ever get cold, stand in the corner of a room for a while.
    They're usually 90 degrees.
     
  34. John N Ga
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    John N Ga Well-Known Member

    Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

    A: Give her a box of corn flakes and tell her it's a jigsaw puzzle!
     
  35. I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
     

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